A Best Friend
by Anonymous Santa
Summary: A good friend will help you up when you fall. "Oh thanks, Frank," James nodded gratefully. A best friend laughs and trips you again... "GOD, I SWEAR! PADFOOT, I WILL KILL YOU!" Rated T for language.


**_A good friend helps you up when you fall down..._**

James, Sirius, and Frank were walking side by side to Potions class when all of a sudden—

"Ffu—" James stumbled over a loose step on the stairs. Waving his arms around comically like a windmill, he felt himself lurch forward, and promptly tumbled, cursing. With a painful crash, his body landed smack down to the bottom of the stairs, the papers previously held in his hands flying everywhere. Sirius gave a low whistle at the sight, chortling right after.

"Merlin. That's going to hurt in the morning."

James groaned in pain, rubbing the back of his head, as he glared distastefully up at him. He smiled at Frank, nodding gratefully as the other extended a hand to help him up. When he was on his feet again, he dusted his robes, shooting nasty glances at Sirius—whom in return, seemed completely oblivious to it.

"See? Frank helped me up, unlike you—some best friend you are!" James whined, raising his arms up in anger at his friend's indifference to his problems. Sirius merely shrugged at this and continued down another flight of stairs. James grumbled but followed, Frank trailing after them.

**_...A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down._**

They had almost crossed half of the stairs when Sirius abruptly stopped and put his leg in front of James's way. Swearing fluently to the high heavens, James's body fell forward and plummeted down once again. His face smashed onto the floor, nearly breaking all of his teeth, and then he flipped over from the momentum, before landing on his knees, butt high in the air. Sirius was in a fit of hysterics. The tip of his finger trembled from contained laughter, as he pointed at the other.

James detached his face from the floor and glowered at his so-called best friend.

"God, I swear!" James howled, losing it completely, "I will kill you, Padfoot!"

* * *

**_A good friend will comfort you when she rejects you..._**

"I'd rather eat dragon dung, Potter!" Lily snapped, sending a vicious glance towards James, before stalking away at the edge of the lake, furious. James sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, there goes her _three-thousandth-five-hundredth-twenty-seventh_ time she's rejected you, Prongs." Sirius consoled halfheartedly next to Frank who was sitting casually under the tree, looking somewhat bored, "Better luck next time." James plopped down next to them, failing to seem as though he didn't care about the redhead's rejection.

Finally, after what seemed like a few seconds, he deflated, burying his face into his hands, "Who am I kidding guys? She's _never_ going to say yes..."

"Don't worry James," Frank said reassuringly, "I bet she'll come along."

"Thanks, Frank." The Quidditch player stared longingly at Lily's retreating back.

**_...A best friend will go up and ask her, "It's because you're lesbian, isn't it?"_**

Sirius suddenly shot to his feet and called after her for the entire world to hear, "Hey, Evans!" She whirled around to see who it was, but ended up scowling.

"_What?_"

"I know why you won't go out with Prongs!" He replied in a sing-song voice, "IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE LESBIAN ISN'T IT?"

"Oi! Padfoot! Have you gone absolutely mad? What the bloody hell are you doing?" James cried, looking somewhat horrified at the wand that was now clutched in Lily's hand. She was marching back at them, face red from rage, smoke literally steaming out of her ears.

"I dare you to say that again!" She challenged, wand pointed threateningly upon reaching them.

"You're lesbian." Sirius grinned.

James's jaw dropped, "Merlin! Look at what you've done _now_, Padfoot! Uh—please put the wand down, Evans—"

* * *

**_A good friend helps you find your princess..._**

Frank sat with James in the Common Room.

"Maybe Lily just isn't the one for you, mate," Frank encouraged with a smile, patting James's back but stopped since it seemed too painful (Lily could pack a good punch along with her hexes), "Maybe she just isn't the one you're looking for." James groaned, more from despair, rather than pain.

"Frank, I know she's the one I'm looking for."

"You don't know that... c'mon, I'll help you find a girl."

**_...A best friend kidnaps her and brings her to you._**

"Oi, Prongs!" Smiling brightly, Sirius burst into the Common Room, carrying, what looked like, a sack of potatoes, "Look what I've got!" James gave him a blank look, knowing fully well that this man was the source of his distress.

"That's a sack of potatoes, Pads," James told him dryly, "I don't eat raw vegetables—and besides, I've already had dinner. You were there remember?" Sirius's face split into a broad grin once again.

"Ah, smart one, you are very wrong." Sirius replied mysteriously, as he placed the sack carefully on the carpeted floor. It was struggling, "See? It's not your normal sack of 'taters, because that's not what's in it." Curiosity having gotten the best of him, James bent over the side of the couch to get a better view of the wiggling bag.

"What's in it?" James inquired, the previous matter temporarily put aside. Sirius untied the other end. Out came a bundle of red hair. James caught a glimpse of emerald. He gulped, "P-Please tell me that's not what I think it is..."

It was.

Lily pulled herself out of the sack, her face scarlet with rage. With an almighty roar, she pointed an accusing finger at the bespectacled boy, "YOU!" She shrieked, beside herself, "You ordered this to happen, didn't you? Didn't you? HOW DARE YOU!" She whipped out her wand.

"Uh, Evans," James tried to calm her down, "Relax... take deep breath." He eyed the wand with fear, "Put that back in your pocket and we'll settle this reasonably—"

"_Reasonably_?" She echoed shrilly, making him wince, "I've been kidnapped and put into a potato sack! You think I should _calm down_?"

"Oh no, of course not!" He gave a nervous laugh, but regretted it afterwards. Lily flared her nostrils at him, face glowing with rage.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?" Her eyes were mean little slits, "DAMN YOU, JAMES POTTER!"

And with that, the flashing lights began.

* * *

**_A good friend will bail you out of detention..._**

"Congratulations Potter, you've earned yourself detention for sleeping in my class." Professor McGonogall said sarcastically, her stern eyes glinting slightly. Frank cleared his throat and spoke up for his battered friend.

"Uh, professor," he called out in a sheepish manner, "James hasn't had any sleep for a few days because of the wounds he got from a classmate."

**_... A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"_**

"Hah, yeah right!" Sirius snorted obnoxiously, "James sleeps all the time! You should hear him snore."

"Black and Potter, detention for a week." She said dully, already very much used to the duo's shenanigans. She then strode on to the front of the class to discuss something with the students. Sirius sent a mockingly sad look at his friend, shaking his head in disappointment.

"That was pathetic, Prongs, I expected more of you. Let's do it again."

James just sighed.

* * *

**_A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain..._**

"Damn the rain," James grumbled. He still had a few bandages on his body from Lily's attack, and he was just getting back from the Hospital Wing, "I'm already feeling like crap, and now I feel like _wet_ crap."

Frank, who was ordered to wait by a tree from a certain redhead, ran up to him and handed him an umbrella, "Here." James thanked him without question, before taking it, sighing in relief when the raindrops no longer hit him.

**_...A best friend takes yours and says, "Run—beep—run!"_**

"I'll take that!" A voice that James knew all too well had said. Suddenly, the umbrella wasn't in James's hand any more. He blinked in confusion, but soon grew extremely irate when he saw Sirius smirking from behind him.

"Give it back to me, Pads!"

"_Catch me, then_!" He then ran away, roaring with laughter, James hot on his heels.

* * *

**_A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink..._**

"Here James," Frank carefully handed him a bowl of soup, face marred with worry. It turns out, James caught a cold—a horrible, horrible cold. He would have to give his thanks to Sirius who stole his umbrella. James sniffed, wiping his nose with his sleeve before taking the bowl from Frank. He blinked as he plunged the spoon into his mouth.

"Did you make this?" James asked, in a state of awe. Frank nodded.

"Whoa! It's really good!"

**_...A best friend Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food._**

_"_I know right?" Sirius had taken the bowl from James's hand and drank straight from it like it was a glass of butterbeer. He ignored the looks of utter disbelief James was giving him, before he casually handed it back to him, "Thanks for the meal, Frank." He then walked out of the dormitory, James furious.

"_I hate you, Padfoot!_"

* * *

**_A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back..._**

"Hey," Frank caught up James who was walking down the hall, "I made a bet with a bunch of my friends – we were going to have a race on our brooms," He paused, "I heard your broom was lucky, so can I, uh, borrow it for a few minutes?" James shook his head.

"Sorry Frank, Sirius borrowed it two months ago—wait, now that I think about it... Where did that guy put it, anyway?" Right then, he spotted Sirius striding down the corridor, hands in pockets, humming a catchy tune. James called out to him, "Padfoot!"

**_...A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad..._ _here's a tissue."_**

"What?" He saw James running towards him.

"Where's my broom?"

"What broom?"

"The one you borrowed two months ago! I need it back."

"Oh! _That_ broom! That one! ...Sorry mate, I don't have it."

* * *

**_A good friend only knows a few things about you..._**

"Ick, I hate broccoli," James glared at the innocent piece of vegetable that did him no harm, "They taste like my arse—Padfoot, please don't ask how I know what my rear tastes like, okay?" He quickly added when Sirius opened his mouth—to make a witty retort, no doubt. Sirius shrugged and went back to his food.

"Huh, I thought for sure you liked vegetables," Frank said, "I mean... you eat lettuce and all."

"Nah, he hates them." Sirius said knowingly. He then sent a mischievous glance at James, and then leapt up on his chair.

**_...A best friend Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story._**

"_Sonorus_. Hello people of Hogwarts! I have an announcement that I thought you would all like to hear!" Everyone turned to look. You could see the teachers in the staff table sighing, "My friend right here, James Potter the Quidditch star, only eats lettuce because it reminds him of Evan's eyes!"

"Padfoot!"

"He also likes to masturbate every night!"

"PADFOOT!"

* * *

**_A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing..._**

"I dare you to say it again!" James threatened, challenging Snape to say that foul word again, "Never call her that, you hear?" Snape smirked.

"Oh? And what are you going to do?" He mocked.

"Kick your arse, of course!"

"You and what army?" Too true, Snape had a group of Slytherins behind him, whereas, James, only had his wand. The crowd around them were too wimpy to help.

**_...A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you._**

"_Levicorupus_!" Sirius was suddenly at James's side, throwing hexes expertly at the nasty Slytherins. He grinned at James, "What? You think you're alone in this?"

* * *

**_A good friend would knock on your door..._**

"James!" Frank knocked softly on the door, "You're going to be late—Remus told me to come up here and wake you up—"

**_...A best friend will walk right in and say "I'M HOME."_**

Sirius gently shoved Frank aside and opened the door, revealing a disheveled James in his boxers. Sirius gave a low whistled, jokingly taking in the sight before him. James turned bright red, as he realized with mortification that his friend had brought in a crowd of people with him.

"Padfoot! Why are you so mean to me?" James dove behind the bed, trying his best to cover every part of his body that he could reach.

"Mean?" Sirius laughed, "I'm the nicest guy here! Who else would complement your oh-so-fabulous snitch boxers?"

"PADFOOT!"

* * *

**_A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost..._**

"Hey," James glanced around, "Where am I again? I lost track of where I was going after I passed the moving staircases." Frank examined the surroundings.

"Well, I bet we should go to the lef—"

**_...A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions_**

"No, right!" Sirius put in, grinning like a fool, "We go to the right, Prongs. Then the first door to the left."

"Oh, thanks." James nodded, heading to the said direction.

Pulling Frank back before he could warn the idiot, Sirius hid back the last corner, and waited patiently.

James was suddenly sprinting back in their direction, like a mad man, "PADFOOT! YOU LED ME INTO THE GIRLS BATHROOM!" He ducked as barrages of hexes were sent his way, "DOWN EVANS DOWN! HEEL, BOY HEEL!'"

* * *

**_A good friend is only through school..._**

Frank stood over Lily and James's grave tears swimming in his eyes. Sirius was beside to him, a blank expression on his face – jaw tight, eyes distant, and motionless. Remus couldn't join them since he had business with the Order, so the two had to go by themselves. They stood there for a few more minutes, until rain drops began to fall from the sky. Frank grabbed his umbrella, opening it, before giving a stiff nod towards Sirius. He left.

**_...A best friend is for life._**

Even through the downpour, Sirius was there for the entire day, staring at the name plate, wishing, more than anything, that he could hear James say his nickname again.

* * *

******[A/N]: I edited out all the grammatical and spelling errors, revised it a little, and removed most of the swear words. I realize now it's kind of inconvenient, and if you look at the Harry Potter characters, they rarely every swore, but insulted people rather smartly. By the way, the only reason I used Frank instead of Remus, is because if I put him into the 'just a friend' category, it wouldn't be fair. Remus is also a best a friend, not a just a good friend. That's why Frank seems to fit the bill.**


End file.
